I Wonder, As My Mind Wanders

My mind tends to wander in December. Sometimes that’s a good thing; other times not so much. Often times I remember my father. December 17th was the day he died, a day which I have affectionately dubbed Cigar Day. A day which I frequently light a stogie in celebration, not of his death, but of his life.

Although overcast and sprinkling, the temperature is in the 50’s. By December 17th it will be back on the 30’s with a chance of snow. So, I am sitting in my garage, taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather, cigar in hand, partaking in my annual trip down memory lane a few days early.

But today is different. As I sit here thinking about how much I miss my father, and the patented all knowing grin he frequently had on his face, instead of remembering some anecdote from times gone by, I am just wondering what it would be like things were different.

What would it be like if he were sitting in the garage with me?

Would we be sharing a cigar, something we never did while he was alive? Probably not. While he did smoke at one point in his life, he quit before I was born. He did, however, ask me to take “take a puff for me” the one time he did catch me with a cigar.

Would we be sharing a beer, something we did do on occasion together? Again, probably not. This time because I am the one who rarely drinks anymore.

Or, would we just sit here in silence, he with a bottle of Rolling Rock in his hand, and I with a Romeo Y Julieta in mine, both of us with his patented all knowing smile on our faces, simply enjoying each other’s company?

Yes, I’d like to think that’s the one.

Well dad, I can’t turn back time, but I can take this puff for you…

Until next year.

Or, since I’m a few days early, maybe I’ll have another one on the 17th…just because I can!